Cozy, Jaded Hate-Box

I've been getting a lot of this lately, "Christian, your blog is very entertaining and the writing is exceptional, but I just feel like it's too angry."

And as the great people-person that I am, I'd love to write about something happy to fill your little bellies with butterflies and put that twinkle back into your eye. Just don't get used to it, because it's very rare that I'm comfortable tapping my toe out of my cozy, jaded hate-box. This is just for you.


Something happy...something happy...

I've got something.

It puts a huge toothy-grin on my face to hear that cancer is doing its goddamn job. For so long it has been a spoiled little twat, that just wants more and more by the day. It's primary M.O. has been consuming the lives of the innocent, destroying precious racks of tits, and making perfectly attractive women creepy and bald looking.

About the only good it has done has hilariously left quite a few public figures uni-balled and shedded the gingers of their ugly red fire-hair.

But now, It has finally happened.

I'm jubilant to be able to say that the cocksucker who took the reigns of North Korea and ass-fucked it into submission merely three days after my birth has been bitten by the karma bug. If anyone deserves the pain and life-threatening affects of pancreatic cancer, it's Kim Jong Il. This fucking chink is so evil that he is devoid of all color, his mother never even loved him, and his dad died to get away from him. If the Omen's Damien and Excorcist's Regan had a baby, Kim Jong Il would steal its lunch money and kick dirt in its face every day before school.

Here's hoping to him having a slow and painful death that warps his mind. I hope the morphine drip to make his skin itch so hard that he tears his skin off. I hope his hair all falls out from the chemo and he looks like fucking yippy chinese crested.

I hope he wishes and prays for death every day, but Death slyly continues to skirt the issue so he doesn't have to spend an eternity with KJI breathing down his bony-neck.

I hope that floated your boat, tripped your trigger, yanked your dick, or whatever meaningless cliche you prefer.


P.S. Lollipops, rainbows, unicorns, and fairies.