The Christian Pankow's evil twin brother blog is officially up and running.
Every new post from here will also be put up over there, but you can count on those posts being a bit dirtier and potentially. The real difference is that any new posts that are excessively offensive/not public0oriented will solely be kept over there.
I've also decided to have a bit of fun aesthetically contrasting that blog from this one. I'm actually pretty sure that one ended up looking way fucking cooler. It plays on more of a dark theme, to go with the darker content.
The last huge difference, The ANTICHRISTian Pankow will limited to invitation reading only. Don't worry though, you don't have to be special to get an invite. All you need to do is let me know you want an invite, give me your Gmail address (if it's not Gmail, you can only be a 30-day guess, so just sign up for a Gmail, it's quick and painless), and I'll add you to the reader list a.s.a.p.
I hope you enjoy both sites as much as I'll enjoy tearing that place up.
P.S. I'm not actually the AntiChrist. (Just kidding, I am)
THE ANTICHRISTIAN PANKOW
Friday, July 31, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Beauty is in the Eye of the B+ Holder
Beauty is a moral imperative, but morality is not a beauty imperative.
Funny how things work in our shallow, aesthetically consumed world. We push people to be thinner, leaner, blonder, taller, tanner, younger, and skankier all at the expense of putting intelligence and education on the back burner. Yet, when someone goes that extra mile, to be the prim and proper poster child of our morally tainted vision of beauty, we relentlessly tear them from toned, waxed limb from toned, waxed limb.
During Miss Teen USA 2007, Aimee Teegarden proposed an obscenely simple question to Miss Teen South Carolina, who proceeded to stumble over her words and give an infamous nonsensical half-answer that would be immortalized in internet video sharing history. She was criticized and belittled tirelessly.
When I saw the video, however, I wasn't shocked nor did I question her validity as a civilized person who eats with a fork and can tie her own shoes. Instead, I found myself thinking, "I thought this was a beauty contest?"
Since when do beauty and intelligence go hand in hand, much less coexist? Frankly, I think it's fucking selfish to be beautiful and intelligent. No one should be that well-rounded, it's a danger and threat to all of us one-sided people. It doesn't even make sense, really. People work at becoming intelligent because they don't have the looks to carry them through life, and beautiful people can kick back because they do have the looks to carry them.
Being smart and good-looking is like being funny and nice, or athletic and white. It's just unnatural. You need to grow a pair of balls and just pick whichever one attribute you think will work out best in the long run (good-looking, funny, white).
It's just asinine to expect these girls to be talented and have reasonable answers to simple questions, it's not what they're there for and it doesn't correlate to the demands of their daily lives. They're supposed to stand crooked on the stage in a scantily clad bathing suit with their hands on their hips, chest pressed out, and showcasing the biggest fake smile they can conjure.
It's not like we pull that kind of shit in other competitions. No one asks professional gamers to lose their virginities; no one asks Philip Seymour Hoffman to stop looking like a fat, rosy-cheeked guinea pig when he wins acting awards; and we don't even ask Jimmy Kimmel to be attractive, talented, or intelligent to have his own TV show.
I am willing to compromise though, I'm not unreasonable. If they really want to have a three-dimensional contest, make the tasks relevant to these girls' strengths. See who can most effectively manipulate the average men who long fuck them but never will, or have them answer questions based on what sexual act of bribery is just enough to get them out of trouble and not too much to get them in more trouble.
Just don't ask them to sing or ask questions about the education system, much less memorize the words to a song or to do their math homework. It's bullshit.
Alright, I have a beginning and middle. But I'm so tired and irritated, that at this point, I've have forgotten how to fucking write. I have no clue how to end this post, and frankly, I don't even care anymore, so..
I'm done.
P.S. Fuck off, I'm too lazy to think of something witty right now.
Edit: Margo told me to end it impressively so...
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend, but inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. Even a broken clock is right twice a day. The best place to hide a tree is in a forest. The longest word in the dictionary is smiles, because there's a mile between the 's's. This is two kirbies dueling: (>")> ~<("<). Why is this a heart: <3, but this isn't 2?
There, I hope you're impressed.
Funny how things work in our shallow, aesthetically consumed world. We push people to be thinner, leaner, blonder, taller, tanner, younger, and skankier all at the expense of putting intelligence and education on the back burner. Yet, when someone goes that extra mile, to be the prim and proper poster child of our morally tainted vision of beauty, we relentlessly tear them from toned, waxed limb from toned, waxed limb.
During Miss Teen USA 2007, Aimee Teegarden proposed an obscenely simple question to Miss Teen South Carolina, who proceeded to stumble over her words and give an infamous nonsensical half-answer that would be immortalized in internet video sharing history. She was criticized and belittled tirelessly.
When I saw the video, however, I wasn't shocked nor did I question her validity as a civilized person who eats with a fork and can tie her own shoes. Instead, I found myself thinking, "I thought this was a beauty contest?"
Since when do beauty and intelligence go hand in hand, much less coexist? Frankly, I think it's fucking selfish to be beautiful and intelligent. No one should be that well-rounded, it's a danger and threat to all of us one-sided people. It doesn't even make sense, really. People work at becoming intelligent because they don't have the looks to carry them through life, and beautiful people can kick back because they do have the looks to carry them.
Being smart and good-looking is like being funny and nice, or athletic and white. It's just unnatural. You need to grow a pair of balls and just pick whichever one attribute you think will work out best in the long run (good-looking, funny, white).
It's just asinine to expect these girls to be talented and have reasonable answers to simple questions, it's not what they're there for and it doesn't correlate to the demands of their daily lives. They're supposed to stand crooked on the stage in a scantily clad bathing suit with their hands on their hips, chest pressed out, and showcasing the biggest fake smile they can conjure.
It's not like we pull that kind of shit in other competitions. No one asks professional gamers to lose their virginities; no one asks Philip Seymour Hoffman to stop looking like a fat, rosy-cheeked guinea pig when he wins acting awards; and we don't even ask Jimmy Kimmel to be attractive, talented, or intelligent to have his own TV show.
I am willing to compromise though, I'm not unreasonable. If they really want to have a three-dimensional contest, make the tasks relevant to these girls' strengths. See who can most effectively manipulate the average men who long fuck them but never will, or have them answer questions based on what sexual act of bribery is just enough to get them out of trouble and not too much to get them in more trouble.
Just don't ask them to sing or ask questions about the education system, much less memorize the words to a song or to do their math homework. It's bullshit.
Alright, I have a beginning and middle. But I'm so tired and irritated, that at this point, I've have forgotten how to fucking write. I have no clue how to end this post, and frankly, I don't even care anymore, so..
I'm done.
P.S. Fuck off, I'm too lazy to think of something witty right now.
Edit: Margo told me to end it impressively so...
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend, but inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. Even a broken clock is right twice a day. The best place to hide a tree is in a forest. The longest word in the dictionary is smiles, because there's a mile between the 's's. This is two kirbies dueling: (>")> ~<("<). Why is this a heart: <3, but this isn't 2?
There, I hope you're impressed.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Memories like Bullets
I'm extremely tired and intimidated by the thought of myself writing anything long and legitimate right now. Although, I feel like I really want to express myself and get some words down, and more importantly update by blog that has just been treading water for days.
I've decided I'm going to take the easy way out and just write down some bulleted thoughts that are running through my mind.
- I'm still surprised and taken aback every time I see Aaron's (a longtime friend of mine) band, Witness the Atrocity. They are just super legit. They are rapidly gaining momentum and continue to get better at what they do. Aaron has ridiculous pipes that he's figuring out how to use, and a blatant rise in confidence has done gangbusters for his energy and stage presence. He's getting real brutal.
- Tony's (best friend) band, Purge This City, has come a long way as well. I think they'll always look back to their addition by subtraction as their launching point. I'm proud to see them recording, booking shows, and networking effectively. I'd just love to see them add some dimension and creativity to their mantra.
- Ever since me and Phoenix broke up (in the spring, after a 1+ year relationship), I never thought I could find someone to fill her shoes. But somehow, I've managed to meet a girl who has blown me away. From my perspective, we fit together perfectly, and she completes my venn-diagram, if you will. She isn't offended or turned off by my over-the-line sense of humor, she makes me feel comfortable and desire to be myself, she understands and is intrigued by me, she calms me down and makes me want to behave as a better person, and most importantly she makes me happy and excited. I don't know if we'll ever work out, or if anything will ever come of it, but at least if it doesn't, I know there is in fact at least one other girl out there who is right for me, and people can make me happy. She has given me hope if nothing else.
- I feel like their is a direct correlation between the length of my hair and how many times I get called 'bro' in a day.
- Despite the lack of beautifully woven subplots ala the book and the complete disregard for the concept of building up to the climax, HP6 was an extremely decent movie. It was hysterical, the special effects intrigued me, and the cinematography was spot on. It was easily the best HP movie to date, and would even work as a stand alone film. My most prominent desire was for the ending to be more embellished, with stronger focus on believable acting being a close second. I'm optimistic about the final two.
- Airplanes have roofs, if they didn't, they wouldn't be airplanes.
- On the night of prom, a murder occurred. Only Stacey's blood was found, but she was neither the killer nor the victim. Outside of her, no one else was involved. What happened?
- At night, State Street gets real sketchy. Between the drunks and the homeless I felt a bit uncomfortable walking behind two attractive young women who appeared to have some wealth.
- I don't know what it is about me, but I have an unprecedented talent for picking out girls' outfits while shopping. It may be my keen eye for color or a wealth of knowledge for how certain cuts would correspond with certain bodies. But either way, I'm still not gay.
P.S. I hate myself a little more for writing in that format.
-
I've decided I'm going to take the easy way out and just write down some bulleted thoughts that are running through my mind.
- I'm still surprised and taken aback every time I see Aaron's (a longtime friend of mine) band, Witness the Atrocity. They are just super legit. They are rapidly gaining momentum and continue to get better at what they do. Aaron has ridiculous pipes that he's figuring out how to use, and a blatant rise in confidence has done gangbusters for his energy and stage presence. He's getting real brutal.
- Tony's (best friend) band, Purge This City, has come a long way as well. I think they'll always look back to their addition by subtraction as their launching point. I'm proud to see them recording, booking shows, and networking effectively. I'd just love to see them add some dimension and creativity to their mantra.
- Ever since me and Phoenix broke up (in the spring, after a 1+ year relationship), I never thought I could find someone to fill her shoes. But somehow, I've managed to meet a girl who has blown me away. From my perspective, we fit together perfectly, and she completes my venn-diagram, if you will. She isn't offended or turned off by my over-the-line sense of humor, she makes me feel comfortable and desire to be myself, she understands and is intrigued by me, she calms me down and makes me want to behave as a better person, and most importantly she makes me happy and excited. I don't know if we'll ever work out, or if anything will ever come of it, but at least if it doesn't, I know there is in fact at least one other girl out there who is right for me, and people can make me happy. She has given me hope if nothing else.
- I feel like their is a direct correlation between the length of my hair and how many times I get called 'bro' in a day.
- Despite the lack of beautifully woven subplots ala the book and the complete disregard for the concept of building up to the climax, HP6 was an extremely decent movie. It was hysterical, the special effects intrigued me, and the cinematography was spot on. It was easily the best HP movie to date, and would even work as a stand alone film. My most prominent desire was for the ending to be more embellished, with stronger focus on believable acting being a close second. I'm optimistic about the final two.
- Airplanes have roofs, if they didn't, they wouldn't be airplanes.
- On the night of prom, a murder occurred. Only Stacey's blood was found, but she was neither the killer nor the victim. Outside of her, no one else was involved. What happened?
- At night, State Street gets real sketchy. Between the drunks and the homeless I felt a bit uncomfortable walking behind two attractive young women who appeared to have some wealth.
- I don't know what it is about me, but I have an unprecedented talent for picking out girls' outfits while shopping. It may be my keen eye for color or a wealth of knowledge for how certain cuts would correspond with certain bodies. But either way, I'm still not gay.
P.S. I hate myself a little more for writing in that format.
-
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